Hello, it’s me again. I know it’s been a bit. Once again, I’ve found myself trying to escape from a writer’s desert, still viewing movies, but not able to convey my emotions on my keyboard. For a little bit at least, I have escaped that desert. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been thinking about my writing and what it has become. I’ve been trying to find my voice for a while. At first it was scattered, and then it was too rigid. Later on, in attempts to grow my blog, I added a bunch of bells and whistles to the site, and tried to write so that I would rank higher in search engines. It didn’t really work. I had tried to be like everyone else and it didn’t seem to succeed. I found myself extremely displeased with how lifeless my pieces had become. There was an occasional diamond in the rough, but I was growing tired of forcing myself to write about things that didn’t really speak to me.
Come to think of it, I’m horrible at writing movie reviews. I look over my “reviews” from the past couple of months and realized that they are simply terrible retreads of the movies I had seen. Very uninspired. Very generic. The feeling had been lost. I was writing out of obligation, not because I truly wanted to. Well, maybe I wanted to, but not for the right reasons.
Something I am good at is conveying emotions on paper and telling my personal story as it relates to movies. So I wont be doing any more “reviews”. I will be writing some musings on films as I see them, and how they relate to life, well mine in particular. And I will also be writing about my adventures here in Southern California. I made the decision to move to LA in March. I mean it this time. Over the past year and a half, I have been back and forth with my dream of LA, very recently almost shelving it for an easier journey down the road here in San Diego. I had almost resigned myself to staying here- a stone’s throw away. I thought maybe I would find myself a regular marketing job. I began fielding calls from recruiters, contacting for promising opportunities for jobs, but nothing that had anything to do with entertainment.
Yes, I’m still at McDonald’s. It’s one of the few places I can work that’s flexible enough to allow me to work on what I really care about. This morning I was reading Variety, and I read about James Franco working at McDonald’s and his brief stint in the drive-thru.
“I had very little work experience,” he says. “I couldn’t get a restaurant job. I would show up smelly.” A friend suggested trying a fast-food chain. “‘What, are you too good to work at McDonald’s?’ I guess not.” He shrugs. “I was following my dreams.”
I also remembered Lin Manuel Miranda worked there too- once displaying a a picture of his old name tag on Twitter. When I think of those things, I don’t feel so bad.
I recently became involved with a growing film festival as a board member (primarily handling marketing and outreach). Only in it’s third year, it’s a traveling feminist film festival. Right now, we’re developing a literacy and arts fair for young girls in the Southern California area, and also planning a film-finishing fund, and an arts work space for women. I’m doing a little something to get my feet wet. Maybe this will take me down the road to different things. The organization is mostly based in LA, but the founder is from San Diego, and often visits here.
For me, 2017 was the year of “realizing stuff”. Hopefully, 2018 will be the year of “doing stuff.” So here’s to working on this chapter, and starting a new one. I really hope you enjoy taking this journey with me. On a final note, I have left a few of my old posts up to piece together the puzzle left behind by the spaced out posts. I didn’t really edit them, so they’re a bit different from my newest posts.
Thanks for reading,
ADRIANA, THE CINEMA SOLOIST